Embracing imperfection

Revelations from a dog book group

It’s not every day you meet a kindred spirit who makes you wonder if you might have known her in another life. But that’s how I felt this week when I met certified dog trainer and librarian Leah Tremble, and met with her book group, the Canis Lupus Familiaris Literary Society.

Leah reached out to me after finding a recording of me reading from my book Ten Perfections: Spiritual Lessons from a Life with Dogs, to ask if I would speak with her dog- and animal-themed book group. I had organized a similar book group in the early 2000s, and the idea that another such group existed – especially with such a magnificent name – sent a little current of joy through me. I jumped on Facebook messenger to say YES! And that’s when I learned of more remarkable parallels in our lives – that Leah was also a dog trainer and librarian, and lives less than an hour away. Our coming together across all these dimensions brought wonder and delight.

And what a gift this connection turned out to be! It was an absolute joy to share my stories with this warm, welcoming group of dog lovers, led by the generous-hearted Leah, who clearly supports not only dogs, but their people, too, through her Blue Skies Ahead Dog Training. She’s been organizing the book group for participants in her dog training classes for well over a decade, and once I experienced how thoughtfully and kindly Leah prepared me and the group for our meeting, I understood what has kept the group coming year after year.

From the start, I was surrounded by accepting faces, their warmth spilling out even through a zoom screen. I’d come to share what I think of as the message of my book – how a dog’s love transforms us – but what I learned from these readers was that for them the book offered something else, too: through hearing of my stumbles and mistakes, my failures and my fear, they felt less alone with their own struggles and flaws. They found they were not the only ones who are not perfect. And this brought them joy.

Leah had alerted me that the group doesn’t usually want to read about dogs who die– that they were looking for an uplifting book. I was worried about disappointing them, because dogs do die in my book, and I write about the wrenching grief of those losses. But these women saw beyond the grief to something more: to the joy of feeling connected to others, to being held in our full humanity, including all our imperfections. To loving one another– and ourselves–as our dogs love us.

I had agonized over revealing my own mistakes and failures. Learning how my willingness to expose my flaws mattered to these lovely readers has been an unparalleled gift. I am truly grateful for the light Leah and her group shared with me, and for the loving heart that Leah shares so generously through her dog training and in the world.